Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
