all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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