Define "chronic" masturbator.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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