I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Randomize