At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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