Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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