i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
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tonight lets celebrate not being married
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
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I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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