in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
