She's JV to your varsity
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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