i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Randomize
