Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
My life is pants optional.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
