Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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