Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize