Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Randomize
