Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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