I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
