I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
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