She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
