Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I need to stop coming to work sober
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
