don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I'm really busy with my period
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