just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
