Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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