I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
