Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
