Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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