New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
