Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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