Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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