you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
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Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
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Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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