How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Operation Purity has been aborted
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
