I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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