Everything about him screamed your future.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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