is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
