JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.