he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?