Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial