Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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