If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it