She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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