Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
we should paint friendship bongs
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