Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize