i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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