Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Randomize
