Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
