Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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