I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Randomize
