So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
