i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
