sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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