hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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