I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
She even gives head with a lisp.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
