Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
