Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
