I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
