ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
