Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
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