Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
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