oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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