I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
My feet surprised me
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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