soooo we both peed the bed last night...
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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