Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
