I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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